What’s New at the Cross Reference Library? "What God Wants You to Know About Him"

I Used to Be______- When you suffer a loss, you enter the realm of "used to be." You used to be married. You used to be employed. You used to be pregnant, secure, healthy, sober, thin. You used to be a son or daughter, a brother or sister, a mother or father. And in that used-to-be space there is deep emptiness, loneliness, and sorrow. It's a place we all dwell for a while. But it's not a place in which we are meant to remain. The path forward includes exploring the unseen elements of grief. With this book, pastor Chuck Elliott and counselor Ashley Elliott light the way to a better future. Sharing biblical advice and proven mental health techniques, they help you learn how to fully feel and face your grief, hold onto your faith, and develop healthy ways to see yourself, your life, and your loved ones. They offer coping strategies for when moving forward seems impossible and guide you toward building new thinking patterns that will result in true healing and growth. If you “used to be” something, it’s not the end of the road. It’s up to you to decide what you “will be” in the future. 

Quiet Conversations - When was the last time you enjoyed a quiet conversation with God? Is that a daunting idea in this noisy, fast-paced world? For some, faith is intriguing and it invites curiosity. Yet so much about God remains a mystery. How does one unravel it all to make sense in a personal way? In her new book, Quiet Conversations, Kim Harvey Brannan wants to guide you toward understanding the unique ways God expresses Himself in our lives. She presents the essentials about God and the ways He chooses to interact with us. Kim believes that Our Creator longs to draw close to us, and that connecting with Him at a deeper level is the key to living a meaningful life of intention. The ideas and concepts she develops in Quiet Conversations are shared with refreshing candor and raw emotion. Her life experiences back up the validity of each aspect of God’s nature. This debut book is a breath of fresh air, offering hope and personal peace amid life’s challenges, disappointments and hardships.

Relationship Green Flags

Who you choose to marry, to face life with, is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. (The only thing which is definitely more important is choosing to accept Jesus’ payment on the cross for your sins—click this link for more info.)

June 20th, 2023 was the anniversary of my first date with my husband. Which means, as of June 20th, 2023, I had known my husband for one year.

It blows my mind thinking that he has only been in my life for a little over a year. He came along and turned out to be even more than I dared to hope for. I hadn’t even realized how low my bar had gotten until I met Dakota, and he showed me everything I’d been missing.

For example, there are times I thank Dakota for different things he does for me and his response is, “Amanda, that’s just the baseline of how people should treat each other.” And, I’m like, “I know, but the guys I’ve dated before have never done that, so I’m grateful for you.”

So, in honor of a year with a man who treats me better than I ever dreamed, here is a list of relationship green flags (in no particular order) for all of you still out there searching.

It’s important to note that we are all human and, chances are, no one is going to have mastered all of these green flags; however, the more green flags the better. And the key is to be with someone who desires to constantly work on improving themselves with you and who has these green flags as a goal.

They take responsibility for themselves.

Bottlecap Guru (Etsy)

Which means they recognize that there are things in life we can’t control, but we can control our own reactions and actions and we only have ourselves to blame if we choose poorly.

“I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

No matter the cards life has dealt them, they work through their trials and struggles and keep trying to better themselves.

They don’t dwell in their misfortune and misery. A person who constantly acts like the world owes them, will never be able to build a life with you because they aren’t interested in building their own. They are only interested in taking from others. They will eventually even turn that “you owe me” attitude on you, and nothing you do will ever be enough.

“You are the only human in charge of your destiny. Unfair things may happen to you, unfortunate times may come to you, but you always get to choose how you respond. You can live in frustration and bitterness, or you can be the bigger person and just play the heck out of the cards you are dealt. The truth is that not a single person can choose the cards they receive, but everyone chooses how they play their cards.” -Nikki Banas

They support your personal growth.

Some people hate to see others grow because they are afraid they will be left behind.

“For so long I wanted you to hold me…until I realized how small you needed me to be to fit within your grasp.” -wild spirit, soft heart / butterflies rising

In a strong relationship, both parties should be working on growing and helping each other grow. Don’t hitch your life to someone who will selfishly hold you back instead of supporting you as you move forward.

“A great spouse loves you exactly as you are. An extraordinary spouse helps you grow; inspires you to be, do, and give your very best.” -Fawn Weaver

They are self-reflective.

They pay attention to their emotions and actions and if they ever behave in a negative way, they do the work of looking inward to discover why they acted that way and what they can do to prevent it from happening again.

“It takes a lot of courage, humility, and self-awareness to look at ourselves closely and with honesty.” -Todd Davis

They are honest about their mistakes.

And with that honesty comes a sincere apology. They face the damage they’ve caused head on in order to work on fixing it.

“It is one thing to make a mistake, and quite another thing not to admit it. People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind, mistakes of judgement. But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart, the ill intention, the bad motives, the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake.” -Stephen Covey

They have long-standing friendships.

If a person can’t even manage to have a healthy friendship, there is no way they can manage a healthy relationship with a significant other. Good long-standing friendships show that they know how to manage the “the gives and takes” of a relationship and how to put others before themselves. Also, one person can’t be everything to another person, a significant other should be the priority, but no one can hold up the weight of being another person’s “everything”.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” -Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)

@Julia Swartz

If they have strong relationships with friends and family, it also proves that they know the value of good relationships and then there is a better chance of them valuing their relationships with you and your potential future kids as well.



“Everything of value that we will know in this life comes from our relationships with those around us. Because there is nothing material that measures against the intangibles of love and friendship.” -R.A. Salvatore

Likewise, they encourage your connections with loving friends and family.

The more people you have loving you and looking out for you in life, the better. A significant other who truly loves you will want you to have a large and strong support system. If a significant other is trying to put a wedge between you and the people who have already proven their love for you throughout your life, that is a HUGE red flag! It indicates an abusive personality who wants you to have no one left to run to for help once they start the abuse.

“Love doesn’t isolate! If you have to cut off good friends and family to please your partner, you’re not in a relationship. That’s slavery. A person only isolates you so they can control you.” -Tony Gaskins

Their words and behavior align.

Love is a verb—which means it’s an action word, so it requires actions to truly exist. If they say they love you but their actions make you feel unloved, then they aren’t actually loving you.

I’ve had multiple guys talk about a future with me but—at best—they were dreaming and deceiving themselves about what they were capable of; and—at worst—they were only trying to keep me around longer by promising what they knew I wanted even though they did not intend to follow through. And I believed each one of them for far too long before I realized none of them were actually putting in the work to build that future, until Dakota.

For example: one thing Dakota did when we were dating which let me know he was serious about building a future with me was look up lists of questions you should ask your significant other before marriage and he went through all of the questions with me. He also made sure I met as many of the important people in his life as I could as soon as possible and vice versa.

“Great marriages are made when husbands and wives make a lot every day choices that say, ‘I love you’, rather than choices that say, ‘I love me’.” -Matthew L. Jacobson

They can engage in a disagreement without becoming cruel.

No one is ever going to agree with another person 100% of the time. You need to be able to discuss your disagreements civilly and lovingly. It’s important to be with someone who knows it’s not okay to be cruel in order to win a disagreement. The goal should be to talk things out and come to a mutual understanding.

“A healthy adult relationship is one where both people in the relationship give and both receive. There is a safe and open exchange of ideas, feelings, and thoughts and all perspectives are considered and valued. There is also the freedom to respectfully challenge, confront, and strengthen one another.” -Leslie Vernick

Even if you don’t come to the same conclusion in the end, each person needs to feel heard and understood. In healthy relationships, people can disagree and still be respectful. They can also find ways to compromise when choices and actions need to be decided upon even if they can never completely agree with or understand the other person’s viewpoint.

“Maturity in a relationship is seeing conflict as a way to develop deeper mutual understanding. It is not about winning or being correct, but about taking turns to listen selflessly and calmly speaking your truth to each other. Harmony grows when you meet each other in the middle.” -Yung Pueblo

They have their own healthy hobbies.

Of course couples should do a lot of stuff together; however, they shouldn’t need to do everything together. Each person should be well rounded enough to have their own things going on sometimes and be allowed to do their own thing.

“There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is short. Invest in meaningful activities that move you.” -Marc and Angel Chernoff

They help you with your emotions.

Emotions can be wrong. Emotions aren’t always justified and can be misleading because they tend to come from our most selfish places. However, they are still real and ignoring or dismissing them doesn’t help. Repressed emotions can resurface later into actual physical ailments or can build up until you explode. In a healthy, loving relationship, you will be able to discuss your emotions—whether or not they are justified—without fighting about them, and work through them together.

This doesn’t mean that you both act like your emotions are always correct, it means you explore them together, without assumptions, and discover what they are trying to tell you. Even if they are illogical they are usually signaling you towards a wound which needs to be healed. So, you need to work together to figure out why you are feeling that way, be it injustice, selfishness, past trauma, an unforeseen trigger, etc. and then you can find ways to handle it healthily and heal the wounds which exist or the potentially false mindset you’re carrying which led to them.

A loving partner should be a safe space to talk about your feelings with, whether or not the feelings are logical and justified. But, you, also as a loving partner, need to be willing to be honest about the origin of the emotions and, potentially, your own infallibility, so that you can both come out better on the other side.

“When you shut down emotion, you’re also affecting your immune system. So the repression of emotion, which is a survival strategy, then becomes a source of physiological illness later on.” -Gabor Mate

They share compatible goals for your relationship.

Unfortunately, you might find someone who is perfect in every way, but they don’t want to have kids, while you do want to have kids. If you both want to build different types of futures, through no fault of either of you, you can’t build your future together.

Chemistry refers to the emotional connection you feel with another individual. Your chemistry is what creates the magnetic pull towards someone, what attracts you to their being and the foundation for sexual attraction. Compatibility on the other hand is related to lifestyle, goals, and values and overall vision. If you have chemistry without compatibility, this creates a short term intimate relationship. If you have compatibility without much chemistry, this creates a dry, passionless relationship. Both are needed for the relationship to feel filled with passion, life, purpose, and sustenance.”

They understand that healthy relationships require continuous work.

All relationships take work. They require a willingness to grow and adapt with your partner. You are not the same person you were a year ago and neither are they; nor will either of you be exactly the same a year from now. You have to stay checked-in with each other—spend quality time with each other, talk about your day and thoughts together—in order to grow and change together instead of drifting apart.

“Men are so worried that marriage will leave them with ‘only one woman’ for the rest of their lives. That’s simply not true. I fell in love with a 19-year-old rock climber, married a 20-year-old animal lover, started a family with a 24-year-old mother, then built a farm with a 25-year-old homemaker, and today I’m married to a 27-year-old woman of wisdom. If your mind is healthy, you’ll never get tired of ‘one woman’. You’ll actually become overwhelmed with how many beautiful versions of her you get to marry over the years. Don’t say no to marriage, say yes and keep saying yes until the day you die.” -Dale Partridge

Also, there is no such thing as, “I told you I loved you on our wedding day and that’s enough.” No, that’s neglect and indicates an unhealthy detachment from your emotions. There is nothing wrong with reassuring your partner of your love, and in fact, it is ideal—dare I say, required. A strong relationship is one in which both people and constantly reminded that they are loved. Feeling securely loved allows you to grow and flourish in all aspects of your life.

“Marriage is not the end of the search for love. It’s the end of the search for the person to love. The search for ways to love that person has just begun.” -Hank Sinatra

They share your form of spirituality.

A person’s religious beliefs impact pretty much every decision they make, even the small ones, but especially the major ones. If you don’t share your core belief system, you don’t really share the same view of the world. You might be able to coast by through the small choices, but when life gets hard, like it does for everyone, you will both fall back on your core beliefs for guidance and if they are incompatible belief systems, you will fall apart.

On the flip side, if you share your core belief system, it will make your choices easier. Decisions like how to raise your children, which places you should donate money to, and which holidays to celebrate, will be way easier.

When people fall in love with someone’s flowers, but not their roots, they don’t know what to do when Autumn comes. Your relationship needs to be built on a deep alignment of values, character, and morals (the roots) not just ‘love’, appearance, hobbies, and status (the flowers).” -suetsai & doctor_bolu / Twitter


These are just a few of many green flags which indicate the potential for a strong, healthy, long-lasting relationship. If you find a person who flies these flags and they want to build a future with you, you are blessed.

Likewise, we should all be working at becoming the type of person who flies these flags as well. The number one way to attract the type of person you want, is to work at becoming the type of person they deserve.

If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to paint. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. If you want to live ecstatically, find the ecstacy within yourself. This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch.


This series of blog posts titled, “Holding on to Reason”, is named after Amanda’s favorite C.S. Lewis quote: “Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.”

Click here for more things written by Amanda Hovseth.

What Are Your Thoughts On Fasting?

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastor Johnathan Hernandez.

Jonathan Hernandez
This morning I have received a question, and the question was this: It says, "what are your thoughts on fasting? Does it have to be strictly food or can other things be considered fasting, like the electronics or social media?" So yeah, as we dig into this, what are my thoughts on fasting and what do we see in scripture? And so, if we look at the word, "fasting," if we look at it, the original word, we see it through the Hebrew and then also through the Greek. The word itself means: to abstain from food. So if we think of fasting and we we look at it, "well then, it means to abstain from food." The Greek is, like, "abstained from food or drink," and so would we say, "does it have to be food?" If we look at this, that's kind of what it's showing. I know as a church, this has continued to go on, we've seen where we've fasted electronics, or you have a 40 day fast and we're going to give up "this" for different things. You'll see some churches that give things up for Lent. You have these different seasons, like those things, that were to happen. My thoughts are, if you're giving up something and you're saying, "this is fasting," then the purpose of that would be for you to give something up. And as you're giving that up, you're spending more time in the word, in prayer, and building that relationship with Jesus Christ. That's what fasting, that's what the whole purpose of it is. Is to grow closer to God. And so, if I'm just fasting and if I'm just giving something up, but I'm not turning to God and spending that time with Him; then if I'm giving up food, but I'm not replacing that with the word, well, then all I'm doing is going on a diet. I'm not actually trying to get closer to God. I'm just, like I said, just basically going on a diet. So we need to make sure that if we're fasting, that we're giving something up, but we're replacing that with being with Christ. Whether it be: in the word, prayer, both of them together, meditating on the word, memorizing scripture. Just developing and deepening that devotional life that you have with Him. So, if we look at the law, God would require people to fast annually on the day of atonement, when offerings were made by the high priests for the sins that he and the people had committed in arrogance. And we see this Leviticus, and this was the only time that God kind of expected that fasting process, or that to happen. Now we're no longer bound by the law, because Christ fulfilled it. But we do see that, though it may not be a requirement so to say, like we'd seen in the law, we still see it happening throughout the New Testament. So like in the Old Testament, we see it happen in grief, right? When King Saul was killed and buried, his men fasted for seven days. We see this for Samuel. We see that when Bathsheba's first son was dying, David fasted and pleaded with God for his life. We see this in 2 Samuel. We see people fasting as a place of repentance, as a repenting for whatever's going on. We see this in the book of Jonah. We see that they're fasting. We see these take place even today. You see people fasting as a place of repentance. We see it happen to seek favor, blessing, or the will of God. Moses fasted for 40 days in preparation for receiving the 10 Commandments; we see this in Exodus 34:28. Daniel fasted before God and God gave him a vision; Daniel 10:2-6. We see Elijah fasted before he spoke with God; 1 Kings 19:8. Jesus fasted for 40 days before his public ministry began as Matthew 4:1-11 says. You also see it in Luke 4:1-13. We see that the apostles fasted and prayed; that we see in Acts 13:2. And so the question would come down to, how do we see it happening today? How do we fast today? What's the purpose of us fasting today? Should we be fasting today? That's where the questions, I think, would go. From, once we see that scripturally, they fasted in The Old Testament, and we see that they fasted in the New Testament. We see that the disciples, we see that the followers of Christ fasted, they prayed. So we see that it's a practice that was put into place. So how do we see it today? Should you fast? Right? And I would say the answer to that is, yes. Fasting may not be the easiest discipline of Christ to do. A lot of people love their food, right? It's hard to give up our food. But also, there's great benefits in us spending more time with God. Abstaining from something and saying, "you know what? We're going to dedicate this time to Christ." I've had friends that fasted every Tuesday morning, they'd fast their breakfast and they wouldn't eat until, 'whenever,' and they'd spend that whole time in prayer.

Jonathan Hernandez
I know a lot of pastors fast Sunday mornings until after the sermon or after their service. They just want to make sure that they're in the right place. Making sure that it's God's word that's coming out and not their words. It's what God's wanting to say within that moment, and what He's saying in that time. So as we fast, we can see a few things happen. And so, we see fastening prayer can help us hear from God. So when we're fasting and we're praying, we're giving up something and we're spending more time with God. We're trying to connect to Him and we're going to hear from God. As we're spending that time in prayer, we're spending that time in our word. Fasting and prayer can reveal hidden sins; sometimes, those things that we're hiding and we're continuing to hide that we want to overlook. But then God reveals those times, those things to us when we're fasting and He's saying, "Hey, look John. There's this part in your life that I've been calling you and telling you, and trying to show you that it's not pleasing to me. And that you need to get rid of it." But for whatever reason, we're pushing Him to the side. But here in this time of, in a sense of isolation, we're removing something from us and spending more time with Him. He's going to reveal those things to us and say, "Hey look, here it is. This is what you're doing. Let's get rid of it. Let's repent of it. Let's move forward." Fasting and prayer can strengthen intimacy with God. If you feel like, "you know what? Maybe I haven't really been hearing from God lately. I feel like I'm far away from God right now." Spend a day of fasting and just spend that time with Him and reconnect. He's always been there. He's there already, right? It's us who has drawn away. And so draw back, draw closer to Him and spend that time with Him through prayer, through this time of fasting. Get rid of those distractions and just make sure that you're spending time with Him. Fasting prayer can teach us to pray with the right motives. A lot of times we have have wishlists, and we just rattle off these things instead of just saying, "okay God, what is it that you're wanting? Let me just hear from you. I want to come at you in prayer with the right motives." Not, "I want a million bucks," but "hey, what does it look like for me to be praying for the lost ones in my community? How can I pray for my lost loved ones with these motives?" Fast and prayer can help build our faith. So as we're spending more time with Him, we're seeing things happen. We're seeing how the scriptures just really fulfill those areas. So we just need to make sure that when we're fasting, we're doing it for the right reason. We're not doing it because our pastor said, "Hey, go ahead, you need to be fasting this week." And that's great, and that's motivation to help us, hey, let's step into this. But why are you fasting, right? Not just to lose weight. It's not a diet, but it's a place for us to step into what God has for us. It's an opportunity for us to connect with Him on a higher level. It's an opportunity for us to deepen that relationship, to strengthen our faith, to strengthen that intimacy---like I said---with Him, to hear from Him, to reveal things in us that need to be removed. That chiseling season. So we need to make sure that when we go into this, a season of fasting that, "hey, we've already prayed for it. We feel like this is what God's showing us as we step into this." And then make sure that you're doing the things that you need to do to keep yourself healthy through that too. So would I say that fasting is only food? I know a lot of times we could definitely stay in that route. And I mean, really when we look at scripture, we see that it says, "abstain from food." But also, I think there's an amazing thing that happens when we abstain from social media and all of that distraction. If we can just separate ourselves from all of that extra knowledge and things that we really don't need; separate ourselves from having that phone in our hand twenty four seven. And instead of having that phone in our hand, let's have our Bibles in our hands. Let's have our prayer journals. Let's have those things in our hands, our devotionals, and spending more time with God, and just really see what this season would look like if we would just put down social media for even a couple hours a day. Instead of being on it the whole time that we get home from school, or get home from work, however that looks. But we just make sure that we're spending that time with Him and say, "you know what? I want to separate from social media. I want to separate from whatever it is, electronics. Maybe it's video games. I'm going to separate myself from video games and spend more time with God. And so some of you guys are like, "well, I don't do social media. I don't do video games." What is it? Maybe it's the television, maybe it's whatever it is. Separate yourself from that and spend more time with God, and I think we're going to see some amazing things happening. We're going to see some more spiritual growth happening, and that's really it. We want to grow spiritually and we can't stay infants for all of our whole Christian lives. We need to be able to mature. I think, if we could get into this practice of fasting, I think we'll start seeing ourselves mature on a better level and being able to grow closer to God. And for me, a lot of times, if I feel, like I had just said earlier, but there's times when I feel like I'm not hearing from God. Or I'm not feeling like I've kind of maybe been separating from Him a lot of times, then I'll fast for that day or whatever it may be and say, "okay, I need to make sure that I'm in the right place. I need to make sure that I am hearing from God and I am following Him and all of these things." As a pastor, I've got to make sure that spiritually, I'm healthy, because I want to help other people become spiritually healthy. And so, if I'm not spiritually healthy, then what am I reproducing? And so fasting is a place for me to be able to say, "okay, where am I? Okay God, is there areas in my life that I need to look at? Is there a hidden sin that I'm overlooking? I want to be close to you. So I've got to make sure that if that's my goal, to be close to you, I've got to do the things that we've got to do, right?" If I want to be close to my wife, I've got to spend more time with my wife. We've got to do those type of things. So if I want to be closer to God, I've got to make sure that I'm putting in that effort to say, "Hey, I'm going to get closer to you. I'm going to spend time with you." And that's, a lot of times through fasting. Fasting's an amazing thing for us to practice and to do.

What’s New at the Cross Reference Library? An Inspirational Book by Ike Miller

Good Baggage - We think our baggage makes us less likely to have good, healthy relationships today. But baggage isn’t just the bad stuff that happened to us—it’s the lessons we’ve learned. What we’ve been through has made us stronger and more capable than we imagine. And it’s how we’re going to make our current relationships work. Far from minimizing past pain, pastor Ike Miller shows you how to go through the baggage you carry from a difficult childhood and pull out the good stuff. You’ll find no platitudes or pat answers here. Rather, you’ll discover untapped riches of experience and knowledge you already have that can make your relationships thrive and change the course of your life and legacy. 

How Should Christian's View Our Cultures Obsession With Justice?

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Johnathan Hernandez and Gary Schick.

Gary Schick
Well, today's question could be what you might call, kind of a hot topic. But I know it's a question that people are asking. So here it is, "We hear a lot about justice these days. Environmental justice, social justice, et cetera. We know God is a just God.' But how should Christians view our culture's obsession with justice?"

Jonathan Hernandez
Yeah, I guess this is a pretty important question within our society today. And I would say that I guess even in Jesus's time, I guess it would be an important question on this. So we look at this, how there's this focus on this social justice platform, I guess that's been really going on for a while. But really started really sparking a lot for us in what, 2020? Around that time we started seeing a lot of more things, I guess, popping off in that sense, moving forward in that social justice form. And so, if we look at this, if we take the Bible seriously, then justice should be a big deal for us. We see it scripturally, he commands in Jeremiah 22:3, "do justice and righteousness and deliver from the hand the oppressor; him who has been robbed." And so we see these scriptures that God is showing, you know, there is justice and He is a just God. We see in Luke 4:18, and this is quoting Isaiah 61, it says, "Jesus declared his mission proclaimed. The good news to the poor, liberty to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind to set at liberty those who are being oppressed." Isaiah 1:17 says to seek justice. So this is a strong call. I guess in that sense, in scripture we have to look at those and take them and say, "okay, if we are seeing this call in scripture, how do we see it lived out in that?" If God's calling us to live this justice out, how do we see this happen? And I think if we can look even in the book of Acts, you know, if we look in the church history in that form, we see this happen in the early church as they proclaim the gospel. We see that there was a racial divide happening back in that time with the Jews, the Gentiles, and the Samaritans. We see this racial divide happening and we see that as the early church was proclaiming the gospel, there was a real sense of community starting to be built. And I think if we can look at that for our time now, there is a racial divide that unfortunately does happen within our society. And if we could just get back and say, "you know what? We're going to start proclaiming the gospel. We're going to start walking it out." Not just saying that we proclaim the gospel, actually walking out the gospel. And doing the things that we see in scripture, and start seeing this real community start happening like we've seen in the early church and start seeing people come to Christ. I think this is how we'll see this social justice, that platform, really say, "you know what? Let's just bring this back to scripture." I think for me, some of the problem with the social justice that we see today is, it really starts pitting people against other people. And this is not the justice that we're wanting to see. We're not wanting to see it divide people more. We're wanting to see it bring people together in unity. And I think we're starting to see, at least this is what I'm seeing, is some of these social justice warriors of our day are really pitting our people groups against people groups. And we're seeing more oppression happening than, you know, we should be seeing people that are oppressed, released and freed from these things. And I think unfortunately, we're seeing it where it's really pushing people more into oppression, not uplifting people like it should be. And so I think that's where I'm seeing it from my side. Gosh, if we're wanting to go after social justice, we should be seeing unity not pitting people against people. And so, yeah.

Gary Schick
I think that's an interesting and a good take on it. This world's attempts to achieve justice don't always achieve it. And I think it's in part because it's us working out of our sinful nature trying to move towards something better. Which the goal is good, but if you use sinful means to get there, you're going to continue tofall short of your objective. And I think also, a part of it is some blind spots, which we are reluctant, all of us, to let go of. Each of us have what we might call our hot topics, things that we want to see, areas of justice achieved. But if we're completely honest with ourselves, there are others that others may be fighting for out there we could care less about. And that doesn't mean that those things aren't important to God's heart. Just that maybe, in fact, even the way this question is worded kind of made me think about that. It says, "we know God is a just God, but how should Christians view our culture's obsession with justice?" As if almost to say, "well obviously culture's in the wrong here by being obsessed with it." You know, throughout the Bible, God is just, "period." And He is obsessed with justice in a way that we could only wish we were. One of the great verses, we used to sing it when I was in youth group many, many years ago, from the book of Micah says, "he has shown me, oh man, what is good and what the Lord requires of thee. But to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." And I think part of the human problem is, we don't know how to balance justice and mercy. Justice by itself is very important, but very harsh. Mercy by itself can come across as just sort of sweeping things under the rug. You know, kind of like Jesus. Jesus came filled with grace and truth. Truth and justice go hand in hand. Grace and mercy go hand in hand---and love. In our way of approaching life, sometimes we've got justice on one side, mercy on the other. In Christ they don't fight, they kiss. Justice and mercy come together in Him. But exactly what you were saying, in terms of the way, in our sinful selves, we go at this, these things actually tend to conflict. In Christ they come together and even when we pray the Lord's prayer, what are those three words? "Thy kingdom come." Now in part, we're praying for the return of Christ, but we're praying for the King of Kings to come to reign over His kingdom when the kingdoms of this world give way to His ultimate justice and rule. So we are actually to be ambassadors and signposts of that. I just, oh man, I've got several just little quick thoughts that I just want to kind of pop out to the listeners here. One, bear in mind, God's view of justice is at times very different from what the culture promotes as just. But at other times, if we take the Bible seriously, even what the culture is asking for doesn't go far enough. Really, the question is not whether there should be justice in this area, but what is a biblical view of it? What's God's view of it? And biblically, I think three things need to be said. 1. part of our sinfulness, both in the culture and the churches, I've already mentioned, is blind spots. We need God's word to wake us up to areas of injustice that we have grown complacent about. If we ever recognized them to begin with. And one example would be, a hundred years ago this country was divided Christians on both sides over, in part, I know there were other factors, but a big part of it was the issue of slavery. Today it's very hard for a Christian to look back and say, "how could Christians have ever been on the side of that?" But they were complacent in their culture. They found verses to back up what they wanted to say and just close their eyes hard to others. You've got to take the whole council of God in a sense that civil war should never have happened. Christians should have been able to come together and say, "you know what? This is hard, but God's word says, "and therefore we must," as opposed to going the direction we did. Another thing is to acknowledge, you know, we hear a lot today, a lot of it came, you're right, a lot of it got going in the 2020. It wasn't just covid that hit that year. We hear a lot about culture wars. I heard an interesting take on that recently. Culture wars, the person defined as this, a culture war is a theological war where one side identifies it as theological about what God says, and the other side doesn't see that. But it's still about that. You know, it's very interesting. In the culture wars, the secular liberal left, they are using, I guess I want to say Christian values without calling them Christian. So often in calling us our attention to this and this and this. Whereas Christians are saying, "and God's word says." And so it is. It's a cultural, it's actually somewhat of a theological war, in which one side doesn't acknowledge that God is part of the equation. And so that is part of what creates the conflict there. And then third, while we are not called to fix the culture, we are called as Christians to be a prophetic voice within the culture. And even to live out higher values than the culture, and in all areas, not just one or two. For example, it seems like over the course of my life, there were a time when Christians kind of stood up for many things, and more and more we have, maybe it's kind of a stereotype, but Christians have been sort of stereotyped as one issue. People, it's all about abortion. That's all or nothing, and nothing else matters. Well, obviously abortion does matter. And I'll be honest, that has cast my vote more than once. That issue, right there. But it doesn't mean that other issues don't matter. For example, I think the question brought up the question of the environment. Whether you believe in global warming or not, I mean, the world is kind of hot this summer for whatever reason. Doesn't really change what our answers should be to the question, "did God make this world?" And we do our best to take care of it, whether that scientific theory is true or complete hogwash.

Gary Schick
Should Christians be not only leading the way to say all life is valuable, which we should, but should we also be leading the way to a cleaner, safer, healthier environment in our planet? I mean, do Christians want the oceans filled with plastic? I don't think so. And yet, I have heard Christians say, "well, it's all going to burn up. Who cares?" I mean, that is not a Christian perspective. God said, "here's this world, you take care of it until, basically, until I come back," it is what we're going to pass on to our kids and grandkids. It shouldn't be either or, it should all matter to us. But from a Christian perspective, fourth---actually my three turned into six---fourth, I think it's important that Christians stand for the right things in the right way. Sometimes we become so passionate about our causes that we forget that human souls are often at stake, the people we are arguing with. And that's where there is, I think, what's the most important thing here? The issues are always important. Of course they are, they affect people. But it's the people that matter the most. Jesus died for souls. And sometimes when I get pretty wound up about an issue, whatever it is, I tend to demonize the people on the other side. I think we all do. And no, those are souls that we need to reach for Christ. And so yes, we need to, I think, draw the line and make clear our stand and make clear why we stand there. But I think it's also a good idea for Christians too, and this is my next point, and to look for some common ground. Not every issue does have to be us versus them. Christians can stand the ground and be sowers of peace, not division. The Bible calls us to that. That's part of, "thy kingdom come." It's a kingdom of peace. And then sixth and last, I think we need to bathe everything in prayer. Even as Christians, we've read our Bibles, we know what the Bible says about this, so here we are ready to go to---no. We need to ask God to show us His solution. How do we bridge this gap? Is there some place that we can build together? Is there a way through this that we haven't thought of yet? Even if we agree with the scientists, here's an issue in our world, there's still one thing that we can bring to the table that they can't. "God, give them insight," whether we're talking about cancer or whatever it is, we should be bathing everything in prayer and every conversation in prayer and every relationship in prayer. And then God's picture of justice, I think really will be done. He looks, I believe, for a world where people are in harmony, first with Himself, then one another, and then the environment they live in, until He comes for us. So Jonathan, anything more you want to add?

Jonathan Hernandez
No, I think you had some great points there. Definitely, things for us to really think about in those areas. And so I think the last thing is, for me, a lot of times when we are raising our kids, let's make sure that we're raising them with that biblical view of things. I think that's where we're seeing a lot of things going astray. Are we going to be committed to God or are we going to just show up to church, but we want to live a worldly worldview instead of what God has shown us scripturally.

Gary Schick
And I think news broadcasts or a topic that comes up at school, those can be great conversations at home. Say, "oh, that's interesting. What does the Bible say about this?" And so, sometimes we will get on board with what the secular culture is saying and say, "you know what? They've actually gotten ahold of something that's right here in the Bible," because all truth is God's truth. Other times we're going to say, "You know, isn't it interesting how the world is looking for a just outcome, but how that's contrary to God's word?" And look at where that will, if they got their way, where that would actually take us. And what that would actually result in. And for example, well the two we've brought up, we could say, "oh, there's a person who doesn't know the Lord and yet they're caring an awful lot about the world God created." What are some responses, as Christians, we could add to that? Or take the issue of abortion, say, "well, it's really interesting. They're talking about a woman's rights, which obviously there's some truth there, but aren't they forgetting about the person that woman is carrying in her body and that that child has rights to?" And so if the world gets their way there, what does that lead to? The loss of that child's life. So we just need to keep going back to the Bible and affirm what's there to be affirmed. Call it when it's going too far, and absolutely draw the line when it's going totally counter to God. It may use all the right words, but if it's going in the wrong direction, how do we know? What's our compass? "Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Not what I want, not what sounds good to me or feels good to me or is most comfortable to me. But what does God's word say?

What's New at the Cross Reference Library? A new Lauraine Snelling Novel!

Reunion - The Sorenson family has always been a tight-knit clan, gathering every year at Dagmar Sorenson’s home in Munsford, where her children Keira and Marcus also live. This year; the first since Dagmar’s passing, will be bittersweet. Keira dutifully sorts through Dagmar’s belongings, desperately searching for her birth certificate so she can apply for a passport for a much-dreamed-for trip to Norway. Why did her mother hide the document? The fifty-year-old secret shakes her whole world. Who is she? Who is her father? And who was the woman she called Mother? How can she tell her family the truth? Her brother, Marcus, and his wife, Leah, have a devastating secret of their own. Their college-bound daughter, Kirsten, is pregnant. Has she destroyed the bright future she’s earned? Her father’s trust? And what about his ministry? As the reunion draws closer, the secret each family member keeps erodes the solid bonds between them. Will the truth break them entirely?

What’s New at the Cross Reference Library? What Was Always in Front of You

The Promise - Mallory Hammond is determined that no one will stand in the way of her goal—to save a life. She had that chance years ago, and she failed to take it, leaving her adrift and in search of the real meaning of her life. Finally, she meets a man online from a volatile corner of the world who offers her the chance to find that purpose. But she will have to leave everyone she loves behind in order to take it. Tate Webber has loved Mallory for many years. He understands that Mallory will never be happy with him until her deepest heart’s desire is satisfied. When Mallory decides to travel across the world to fulfill her dreams , Tate begs her not to go but tries to give her the space she needs. Mallory embarks on her dangerous journey only to discover how swiftly and easily promises can be broken. And Mallory can only pray that she will make it out alive. Inspired by actual events, The Promise is a riveting love story that asks the question: how far will we go for love? 

Translating Jesus - The language of faith is not the language of culture. We may use some of the same words, but they rarely mean the same thing. If we are to faithfully and effectively share our faith, we have to translate Jesus so that He can be understood. What is the message your friends, coworkers, and family members need to hear? 

  • Jesus loves you—Learn how to share this truth at the gate.

  • Love Jesus back—Share stories to bring your friends to the cross.

  • Love one another—Discover how to recline at the table the Jesus way.

It’s time to change the way you think about sharing God’s Good News—and the way others hear it. Pastor and teacher Shauna Pilgreen is excited to show you how. 

A New Name - Born into a wealthy family with a respected name, a new identity had never been what Murray Van Rensselaer needed. Until one disastrous event changed everything. As his car swerved to avoid an oncoming truck, his life, and the life of his childhood sweetheart, came crashing down. Now he’s a man on the run from the fate that’s in store for him if he stays, determined to erase his past with a new name—to be born again. A distant town offers a safe haven—and a ready-made identity when Murray is assumed to be the new young banker scheduled to arrive on the next train. Starting over couldn’t be any easier. But as the kindness and faith of those around him begin to convict his heart, will Murray dare to reveal his life of lies—and face whatever consequences await him back home?

Does God Give Us the Desires of Our Heart?

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastor Johnathan Hernandez .

Jonathan Hernandez
So our question this morning is, "Does God give us the desires of our heart?" And we would look at Psalms 37. This is where we would find that scripture where it says, "take delight in the Lord and God will give you the desires of your heart." And I think we've taken this verse and we've just, what do you wanna say? Like, simplified it into just this part of it, not the entire portion of scripture. We've just taken it down to, "let's look at the scripture and take delight in the Lord and God will give you the desires of your heart." And so, I think at times we see this and it's exciting, right? We see it on t-shirts, we see it on posters, memes on Facebook or any of these things. Like, we see this portion of scripture, or just this verse of scripture, and it sounds great. You know, like, if I delight in the Lord, I will have the desires of my heart. And so, I think people get frustrated, because here they are, they feel like they're delighting themselves in the Lord, but yet they still have this desire for say, a million dollars, right? And here we are. We're serving God, we're doing the things that we've, you know, that we see in scripture. And there we don't have the million dollars, right? And so I think when we take these scriptures out of the complete context of what we're seeing, we can get ourselves into a bit of trouble, right? And that's with any scripture, you know, we have to make sure that we're looking at it in the context of the entire portion of scripture. You know, it's not just a vacuum. It's not, you know, we just can't pull a scripture out and, you know, base everything on just that little tiny bit of it, because we have to have the full context. And what is the author saying in this? What is it? What is the whole meaning through this entire part of it? You know? And so we can't, like I said, we can't just take this little bit of the scripture. You know, we have to look at the whole thing. And, you know, in chapter 37 verse one, we started off. Verse four is where we find the, "delight yourself in the Lord." And so we look and it says, "do not fret because of the evil doers; nor be envious of the workers of inequity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass and wither as the green herb. Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell on the land and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as a light and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him." You know, as we continue to go on you guys, like this whole scripture, we're starting to see things come into place. Like I said, we can't just take it out of it. We can't do that with scripture. We can't just pull stuff out of there. And so, how do we look at this? How do we see, okay, God will give you the desires of your heart. Is this really what we're seeing here? "Delight yourself in the Lord." So verse four, it says, "delight in the Lord." And we find this thought process throughout the Bible, right? But it's also one, you know, maybe we don't really, or rarely we hear somebody preach on what does it mean to delight ourselves in the Lord? And we could probably have an entire radio show that's dedicated to just that. So to delight yourself in something is to take pleasure from that thing or person. Commonly, we would delight ourselves in like, our spouse, right? So it could be friends, our children. Maybe, you know, we see people that delight themselves in a prized possession. They have an old car, and that's, you know, the greatest thing on earth. And, you know, they delight themselves in that. Unfortunately, some people delight themselves in sin. And so they're taking pleasure, or committing themselves fully into this thing. And David is telling his readers to delight and commit fully to God, to find our joy in Him before anything else.

Jonathan Hernandez
And I would challenge us, as believers are we fully committed? Are we taking joy before the Lord? Are we seeking after Him with everything that we have? And so I think, you know, if we're looking at these scriptures, we need to make sure that we're delighting ourselves in the Lord. And then the second part of verse four, it says that God will give us the desires of our heart. And I would challenge us as believers that if we're fully committed, fully going after the things of God, I think our desires will align with His desires. You know, it's not gonna be, "I want a million dollars so I can be rich and famous, or whatever." Now it's, "okay, if God gives me a million dollars, where am I investing that into the kingdom? And how am I helping what God wants to see happen? I think a lot of times, you know, I know when I first became a believer, my desires were still in things that wouldn't be God's plan, right? First, when I give my life to Christ I'm starting to learn how to walk the Christian life out. I'm praying, "God, remove these things from my life," you know, whatever it may be. And, you know, sometimes our desires are in things that they shouldn't be. Like maybe revenge, lust, envy, greed, something along those lines. And so, the more time we're spending with God, the more time we're delighting ourselves in the Lord. I think that's where we start seeing our desires being removed from this worldly context into a godly context of, you know, what is God wanting to see? What is He wanting to see happen? Not only in our lives, but within our communities? How often do we encounter different believers that are seeking after things that we see, "okay, God is showing us these things. God is speaking these things." And so, as I continue to push and move forward in Christ, we're gonna start seeing these things happen. And it's exciting to see those things, you know? And so, as I look at the scripture, if I delight myself in the Lord, that means I'm aligning everything with Him completely. I'm aligning my thought process. I'm completely all in for God, right? And so I will receive the desires of my heart. But I believe my desires now have been formed in such a way that they're aligning with God's heart. And my heart now is that, you know, exactly what God is wanting to see happen. And so, "delight yourself in the Lord, and He'll give you the desires of your heart," isn't, "I'm gonna give my life to Christ and He's gonna give me a million bucks." Or, "I'm gonna give my life to Christ, and He's gonna give me that amazing vehicle that I've always wanted." You know? No, that's not how we're seeing this happen and how it operates. You know, how we see this happen. You know, we delight ourselves in the Lord and our heart will be aligned with God's heart, and we'll see what, you know, will align with that completely. And so I would just challenge you guys to continue to, you know, read that entire portion of scripture and allow God to speak to you through that and allow the Holy Spirit just to really lead you.

What’s New at the Cross Reference Library? When The Going Gets Hard

Softly & Tenderly - Happily married and owner of two successful boutiques, Jade longs to begin a family with her husband, Max. But when she discovers that Max has an illegitimate son—who he wants her to help raise—Jade’s life is turned upside down. She flees to her childhood home, a rambling Iowa farmhouse, with enough room to breathe. There—while her mother’s health grows fragile, and the tug of her first love grows stronger—Jade begins to question everything she thought she knew about family, love, and motherhood. In the wide-open landscape, Jade begins to see a future that doesn’t rest on the power of her past, but in the goodness of God’s tender mercies. 

House of Mercy - Beth has a gift of healing—which is why she wants to become a vet and help her family run their fifth-generation cattle ranch. Her father’s dream of helping men in trouble and giving them a second chance is her dream too. But it only takes one foolish decision to destroy it all. Beth scrambles to redeem her mistake, pleading with God for help, even as a mystery complicates her life. The repercussions grow more unbearable—a lawsuit, a death, a divided family, and the looming loss of everything she cares about. Beth’s only hope is to find the grandfather she never knew and beg for his help. Confused, grieving, and determined to make amends, she embarks on a horseback journey across the mountain, guided by a wild, unpredictable wolf who may or may not be real. Set in the stunningly rugged terrain of Southern Colorado, House of Mercy follows Beth through the valley of the shadow of death in the unfathomable miracles of mercy. 

Like Sweet Potato Pie - As a new Christian, former journalist Shiloh Jacobs has plenty of problems. But money, or lack of it, tops the list. Her redneck country house in rural Virginia that was left to her in her mom’s will is the last place on earth Shiloh thought she’d find herself. As soon as the house sells, she can’t wait to flee back to big-city life. But now the IRS is threatening to seize the house for back taxes while her half sister is contesting the will. And nobody’s offering the big bucks Shiloh needs for the house. To make matters worse, Shiloh finds her life unexpectedly entangled with a man who’s all wrong for her and just as financially strapped. Plus, he’s a local—settled in the one place she can’t wait to leave. She wouldn’t have noticed him before, but after giving her life to Jesus, everything looks different. When other more “suitable” men show up, can Shiloh lean on her new faith to see who’s right? Or will circumstances overwhelm her fragile faith and budding romance? 

Where do you go when life punches you in the gut? Perhaps you have lost a family member. Or maybe you’ve been financially tight and there aren’t many options for. Divorce, getting fired from a job, hospital bills after a wreck…The list can definitely be longer, but I’m sure you get the point. You want to know where I go when I’m confused or sad? There will be nights when I just can’t sleep, and I need to clear my head. On those nights, I go out to my front porch and I find a spot on the front steps. When I’m comfortable, I look up at the stars in all their beauty and sometimes I look for the constellation Cygnus (the Swan!). Then I take a deep breath and I talk to God. I thank Him for creating the stars, and for the ways that He has blessed me. But then I ask questions and completely open up to the Father who created me. It sometimes takes me too long, though. Before I find myself on those front steps. But it does feel good when I bring everything to the Father. Our main characters in this week’s books seem to take a while too. In Softly & Tenderly, Jade loses trust in the husband she loved, and upon that discovery, she goes to Iowa and ends up finding God. While in Like Sweet Potato Pie, Shiloh is a new Christian who is ready to serve the Lord. But as the story moves along, Shiloh finds out that being a Christian is one of the biggest challenges of her life. These 3 books actually reminded me of the song, “When Mercy Found Me,” by Rhett Walker: 

I can't count the broken roads I've been down

But all I know

Something had to give

Something had to give

'Cause living my life so wild and free

Finally caught up

Oh it left me broken, left me hopeless

But that's where I met Jesus

And in one moment everything changed

Who I was got washed away

When mercy found me

My Savior's arms were open wide

And I felt love for the very first time

When mercy found me

When mercy found me

If you are able, I highly recommend that you look this song up and listen to the whole thing. When you find yourself on those broken roads, tired and worn, go to the Lord in prayer and even open up His word. Difficult journeys are best taken when we have someone along for the ride. Jesus is ready for you to take Him along on that ride with you. So come on in to the Cross Reference Library for heartwarming stories and good morals.

Parenting and Disciplining Your Children

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Kiley Callaway, Tyson Lambertson, John Mulholland and Jon Simpson.

Jon Simpson
So, last time we discussed parenting and specifically discipling your kids. We want to kind of continue in that with that topic. And so we're gonna tackle a passage found in the book of Judges, again in the Old Testament. Pastor John's gonna read for us again from chapter two of the book of Judges.

John Mulholland
Yeah, "After Joshua sent the people away, each of the tribes left to take possession of the land allotted to them, and Israelites served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua. And the leaders who outlived him, those who had seen all the great things the Lord had done for Israel. Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died at the age of 110. They buried him in the land he had been allocated at Timnath Heres in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gaash. After that generation died, another generation grew up who did not acknowledge the Lord or remember the mighty things he had done for them. The Israelites did evil in the Lord's sight and served the images of Baal." And then it continues down a really lousy path throughout the rest of the Book of Judges.

Jon Simpson
Just one generation.

Kylie Calloway
That did not acknowledge the Lord.

John Mulholland
Why didn't they acknowledge the Lord?

Tyson Lambertson
Well, first I think we have to give Joshua some credit, because his legacy was substantial and very, very important. Cause he kept Israel on task. He was a father of the nation. He really did a wonderful job. And his kids followed. Then they split up and went and possessed land. And I think a lot of times it's easy to lose focus and we're seeing in our own generation, people walking away from the things of the Lord and being carried into a culture that is full of demonic influence. So it makes sense that it could be one generation away.

Kylie Calloway
We've got something up on our refrigerator and how we acknowledge the Lord. I mean, acknowledging the Lord may be different in each home. But I'll share them with you, cause I don't memorize them. But we call them connecting habits and disconnecting habits. So I think people use them, and I think this is what drives away kids. So the disconnecting habits would be: criticism, blaming, complaining, nagging threatening, punishing, bribing. Basically, all of those are to control. So anytime those go on in our home, we kind of go to the refrigerator and say, "you know, that's not the way we wanna be, because that's not who God is." But we want to be these habits, because these connect us to one another, which is: supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting and negotiating differences. And for us, that's birthed out of love of who God is. So when we have those moments together as a family, we feel like in those times we're acknowledging who God would want us to be. So I have to keep going back to that, being, right? Is that we try to teach our kids that it goes deeper than just church attendance and serving in a church. Yes. Prayer is good, studying the Bible is good. But at the essence is: this is who He wants you to be. And so that's our way of acknowledging the Lord. Of course, we acknowledge Him every Sunday in our worship and in our prayer, but further than that. Of our day-to-day life with one another, getting to the core of who we are is acknowledging the Lord for us. And hopefully for our home, that will teach our kids to continue to acknowledge the Lord in their family lifestyle.

John Mulholland
I really like that difference that you explained. What I heard you say was, "there's a difference between being and doing." And we went through Judges several years ago. You know, if we were to read through Judges and we were to read into the rest of the Old Testament, we would see a people who were doing all the right things. You know, all of the things that are taking place here in the book of Judges, in the midst of that, there are people who are still celebrating the Passover. They're still doing all of the right behaviors. But what they've missed is that being and not acknowledging the Lord, not remembering the mighty things that He had done for Israel. So, back to what we talked about last time, just kind of like, that verse 10 is a key text because it tells us; like, when the kids ask their parents, "what is the reason we do these things?"

John Mulholland
They were supposed to say one thing. And my guess is, they made it about the doing, "Well, we go to Temple because we always go to Temple at this time. It's always the Sabbath. It's always the Passover." And they've forgotten the reasons why. And they've forgotten that they were set apart to be a certain kind of people. So I think our challenge is, "what does it look like for us to be a certain kind of people, and then model those behaviors to our kids? And how can we encourage the people and our bodies to do that?

Kylie Calloway
Right. And that's how we're set apart from the world, so to speak. Those disconnecting habits are ways of external control. I can control you with my complaints, but we teach our kids an internal locus of control, that there's something deeper inside of them that they can choose to be other than externally controlling. Cause if I control you, I mean, that's really a form of witchcraft. So, you know, we're not trying to control in those connecting behaviors, which are birthed out of love. It's hard to do with young kids, but the more---I just had to do it yesterday, but the more consistently we do it, we're finding that that's who our kids truly, at the end of the day, want to be. They know who they want to be. It's just our job to kind of guide them towards that direction. And they can choose not to be that too.

Jon Simpson
Yeah. It also seems like, it's interesting that what happened here was that the people were led into the land and they occupied it, right? They got their inheritance. And once they did, they got busy living and taking care of their family and doing the thing that you do. And the mission or the sense of, you know, conquest or accomplishment or purpose, I think it's easy to lose that. And I think of, in my lifetime now, I've been alive long enough to see and hear about, you know, those movements of God, those hay days of either ministry or God moving. And I know I've heard those stories here in this valley, of God. And you know, sometimes there might be some lament about what's happening, or there's nothing. And I'm like, "well, you know, that sense of mission has to continue," and I think every generation has to grab hold of it and move with it and have a sense of, "we've gotta build." Like, why do we have, you know, churches? Why do we do what we do? Certainly in part, it's to raise our own families, but it has to also be to reach the people around me and to, you know, make a difference in the region. And I think that that sense of mission, as I look back, part of the reason for maybe those where something springs up and there's something really incredible going on, people grab a hold of that, you know?

Kylie Calloway
Yeah. As soon as you said, "they got busy living," I heard in me, "but they didn't get busy dying." And I think that's what you have to do, is die to yourself. Right? We do get busy living, but we're not in the business of dying. And we have to die to our flesh and die to ourself to truly show our kids how to truly live the gospel life.

Tyson Lambertson
I think the text lends to the dichotomy of Joshua leaving a legacy. And/Or living your own life. And I wanna live a Joshua legacy for my kids, so it doesn't fail in the next generation, or generations following that. I wanna live that long obedience in the same direction, so that our kids have a good foundation.

John Mulholland
Yeah. So what does that modeling look like? I think last time, Kylie, you said, "we are doing things that our kids are picking up on." So how can we make sure that they're picking up on the right things? One of the pastors I've listened to frequently says, "we are making disciples. We are discipling our children." The question is, what are we discipling and made to?

Tyson Lambertson
I think it's every day. I think, how I respond to certain circumstances, situations. How I talk, how I model, how I love their mom. How I talk about the scripture, how I apply it to my own life. When somebody does something to me, how do I respond? I mean, it's all the time just modeling the weight all the time. Trying to live a godly life in front of them all the time.

John Mulholland
That's an incredible weight that people have on them. And we, I think as pastors, and as the church, have to help people understand that the way around that incredible weight is through, like, Christ bears that weight for us.

Tyson Lambertson
Grace.

John Mulholland
Because I think people can hear this. You gotta be on all the time. Man, for some people that's grounds to not even try. So how can we communicate that their help is in the Lord, not in their own efforts. Other than saying that, that sounds great.