You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.
This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Gary Schick, Ben Cline, and Jonathan Hernandez.
Gary Schick
So today's question, I'll kind of read it and then I'll explain it. It says, "Would your team like to tackle this article and help our listeners develop safeguards for their own personal use of social media? How should we view the phenomenon of social media?" So it was a Christianity Today article about a pastor. I think he was doing something called direct texting, and I don't know, is that even different than just regular texting? I'm not media savvy enough to know. But basically it was some conversation, and his wife knew about it, others knew about it and seemed to be okay with it. But at some point, it seemed to cross some kind of a line and he is now out of ministry. Which is a sad, always a sad thing to see a brother in Christ fall in a way that. And we've, boy, I've been hearing about it, really, my whole adult life, how ministers will fill in different ways. But the broader question is: Hey, all of us are involved in social media somehow. You know, whether it's through our computers or our phones, you know, if we have a Facebook page or something (more often than not, our churches have pages). It is so easy to communicate, and so easy to express ourselves. And there are so many ways we can connect, which is a good thing, but we can also get into trouble. You know, so how do we view it? And what safeguards should we set? Jonathan, what are your thoughts?
Jonathan Hernandez
Yeah, for sure. With social media really dominating our way of communication, I guess nowadays, we definitely need to take a step back and say, "Okay, these are the guardrails, the safeguards that I'll have in place as I communicate." I think, if we look in scripture, in 1 Thessalonians 5:22 it says, "Abstain from every form of evil." Or in the King James it says, "Abstain from all appearances of evil." And so how do we look at that and say, "Okay, as I interact on social media, I need to make sure that I'm living to the standard of what Christ set for us." And so, you know, what are we looking at? What are we, I guess, viewing as we're on those things? Having safeguards in place like: okay, if I notice anything that would be revealing of a lady, I'm not gonna look at those things. You know, we're friends with so many people on social media. I looked the other day and I'm friends with like, 1,100 people, or something like that. And how many of those people do I actually even know? And I'm just sitting here accepting friend requests from everybody, and not really looking to see, "who are these people?" And then, you know, you accept somebody and then, you know, a few days later you get a private message from them. And you know, all kinds of different things can be from that. And so we need to guard, I guess in that too, like, who are we friend requesting? You know, who are we allowing to become friends of ours on social media? I know I have a friend that his thought is always, "Well, if I don't accept them, how are they gonna hear the gospel?" And you know, I think about that; that's a good thought to have. But we also have to be cautious in how that looks, or how that goes. You know, I can't accept everybody, because some of these ladies that are on there, shouldn't be on my profile. So, that way I don't have to worry about looking at what they're posting, you know? So having those safeguards, you know, as a man, for those things. Another safeguard is, my wife has every password of mine. She knows every one of my social medias that I have---the passwords to those. She has access to my phone. Anytime she says, "Hey, let me look at your phone," you know, I have no problem handing it over. So I think having those safeguards in place, you know, as a husband and wife we know what our spouses are doing on social media. And we're okay with them looking at our phones whenever they feel that they need to. As a leader, I think, the Bible says that we'll be held at a higher standard, you know? So that also goes for us when we're on social media. You know, just like this pastor who had gotten in trouble, you know? His wife knew about the messages, the lady's husband knew about the messages, and they all felt like---I'm guessing we're just reading into the story. We're guessing that they're okay with the texting back and forth between those two, but at some point, where did it go? Um, too far. And so we have to know, what are our boundaries in that? Is my communication with another female, that's not my wife, or my mom or sister, you know, they can't go to a certain level of intimacy. They have to stay on that broad, you know, that baseline communication. And so, I think having some of those in place and knowing, "Okay, this is what I have in place, and I won't steer from that path. I'm not gonna test the boundaries." Cause I think we like to do that is, "If I get this close to the cliff without falling off, I'm okay." And no, we don't need to be that close. We need to have the boundary before the cliff, you know? So that way, we're not tempted to look over. And so I think those are kind of, you know, for me, my boundaries. I would probably include more stuff, but I just think, kind of that base thing of my communication. You know, I'm not communicating with women without my wife knowing about it. If I text somebody she knows that, "Hey, I texted this lady, this is the reason why I texted her." And so that way she knows, and she hears what I'm talking about.
Ben Cline
Yeah. Thank you Jonathan. I, you know, just echo a lot of the things that you said. I was just thinking, as you were talking too, that our lives have changed so much in the past 15 years, right? You know, I remember getting, and this was a long time ago, just to give you a hint of how old I am. But this was a long time ago that I remember getting my first friend request, which was over email for this new thing called Facebook. And it was from a family member, so I contacted her and I was like, "What is this?" And, you know, I just remember, and now our lives are so much revolving around the internet and, you know, access to and communicating so easily with other people on all these different apps. And, you know, it's just definitely something that we need to have a plan in place for. And I like the word that you used Jonathan: boundaries, because I think that that's really what it all comes down to. Is that you might be in a situation where you are married, right? And so you can set up those boundaries with your spouse. And you can say, "You know, I'm not gonna have that kind of interaction with somebody else without you having access to what's happening." And then also, the boundaries go further beyond that. Like you were saying, Jonathan: that you don't wanna walk right up to the edge of the cliff, just because it's the edge of the cliff and you're allowed to do that. But you set those boundaries back further. And there's a great passage, in Proverbs 4:23 it says, "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." You know, and there's a bunch of other verses that are surrounding that, that are talking about what it looks like as a follower of God, as a believer in God. To follow after the path that He has laid out before us, and it's not a path of the world, it's a path of righteousness. And so, those boundaries that we set are boundaries that need to reflect that righteousness that God wants us to live in. And you also brought up 1 Thessalonians 5:22. I think when situations like this come up that, you know, we read about in the article, that was brought up to us; that that's one of the first thoughts that comes to mind as we're thinking about scripture. Is, you know, that we need to, "Abstain from all appearances of evil," because our intentions matter. And I think looking at this particular situation, that there were maybe not any ill intentions, but the truth of the matter is that appearances matter too. And so, and the reason why, is because there's a world who's looking on, and they need to be viewing, you know, Christ-like characteristics within us. And then, another thing that I was thinking about too is, you know, that we need to remember all of the things that Christ has done for us. In 1 Peter 2, just a few verses in here, it says, "For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps. Who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth. And while being reviled, He did not revile in return while suffering. He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting himself to Him who judges righteously. And He himself bore our sins and His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness for by His wounds, you were healed." And then verse 25 is so true about us. It says, "For you are continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the shepherd and guardian of your souls." And, you know, what powerful words I think those are, for us as believers. And really just, you know, if you're wondering how to handle situations in social media, I say, just go back to those two words: boundaries and righteousness. And those are some good guidelines.
Gary Schick
Right. Good stuff, Ben and Jonathan, you know, it is kind of an interesting thing. The internet, it's a new thing in the world, but there's no new sins. And so the internet is an opportunity, I think for, there's a lot of great ministry opportunity there to share the word of Christ. But there's also a lot of opportunity there to get into trouble. You know, I think I heard another pastor talking and I think he said this was a Woody Allen quote. I don't know, I don't follow Woody Allen at all, but I think it's a good quote. Something to the effect that people are themselves, only more so. And I think that is true when people get on social media. I think they're themselves, only more so. I think there's a sense in which, in the privacy of your own home or whatever, you just kind of feel comfortable. Which is good, but you can also kind of let some boundaries or barriers down. They could lead in some negative directions and, you know, without getting into the article that Russ shared with us, you know, it was one of those kinda difficult situations. It wasn't that a sin had specifically been committed, and yet it had drifted to a place where it just wasn't a good situation. And so, I think you guys both had some great scriptures there. Another one that came to my mind is Ephesians 5:3, "But among you, there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." So, you know, and I think there's so many ways that people can get into trouble on the internet. I mean, one is viewing inappropriate things. And so, you know, the words of Job kind of come to my mind, you know? "I set a guard over my eyes lest I should look at a woman lustfully." And so, you know, clear back in the Old Testament, Job was already uttering the wisdom of Jesus. You know, basically, watch your eyes. And of course, the internet is a very visual place, so that's one safeguard to have in mind. Another, I think, important safeguard is, putting a guard over our mouths. You know, James talks about the tongue. And not only in this situation, there was some kind of texting going on that would not quit, and wasn't going in a good direction. But Christians do not always reflect Jesus well on Facebook and other places on the internet. I mean, who was it? A guy I used to listen to on the radio, he'd talk about angry evangelicals. And you know, that is not a phrase that should exist. Evangelical means good news. We are proclaimers of the news of Christ. So how is it that we have become, in the world, really viewed over and over again for what we're against instead of the Jesus we're for? So anyway, I just jotted down three things that I think are helpful. Number one: would I want everyone to see this? Would I feel comfortable with everybody seeing either what I'm seeing or what I'm writing or what I'm seeing, you know? Is this open to the world? Because guess what, and this is the trick, and this is where I think social media and the internet can operate, not only is a good thing where it can be ministry, but it also can be one of Satan's lies. And that is that old lie, "Well, nobody will know. Nobody will see." No, good grief, everything you put on the internet's there forever. And first of all, if you wouldn't want everybody to be aware of it, you shouldn't be doing it anyway. That there you've crossed that line of sin. But also you've believed a lie, because at some point, everything you've put out there is likely to be open to the world. And so, you know, would I want everybody to see this? Both as a safeguard to say, "Well, you know, no. Then I probably shouldn't be putting it up there." And guess what, at some point they probably will. Also, I think it's a good question to ask ourselves, "How much time am I spending here?" You know, some of these things are really neither good nor bad, but they can sort of become all consuming. And I don't know, maybe we're getting used to it now, and we're starting to level out. But I remember when I was, you're talking about your first friend on Facebook, I remember when I was trying to learn how to use Facebook. And it just felt like it was like, taking up, you know, I would get home from my day and I would, "What are you doing? He's on Facebook." I was just trying to learn the stupid thing, you know? And early on, I was like, "I need to back away from this." And I kind of barely go on there at all anymore. I'm trying to wish people happy birthday, that's about it. But for a lot of people, it can just kind of become all. And so, maybe no sin is happening, but if it's dominating your life, if it's taking you away from the face to face in touch relationships with people right in front of you, that's not healthy. And I think this is the big one over all of it, "Am I bringing glory to Jesus? Does this glorify Jesus Christ? Am I lifting up the name of Jesus? Or am I getting caught up in all these arguments about culture or politics or whatever it is?" And you might have some really great views and some good points, but honest at the end of the day, if you haven't directed people toward Jesus, what good is it gonna be a thousand years from now? You know, I mean, when we direct people to Jesus, that could be good a thousand years from now, cause they could be a thousand years in eternity with Him versus without Him. I mean, you could be right in everything you're saying and doing, but if you're not pointing people to Jesus, what is it all about in the end? And I guess the counter question is, "Are we distracting from Jesus? Are we becoming known for something else? Are we, as evangelicals, known for anything but the gospel?" Which is what our name is, you know? Evangelical comes from the Greek εὐαγγέλιον; good news gospel. If we're about, I'm not saying that other things aren't important that we shouldn't be working toward a lot of things, but the good news of Jesus Christ needs to be front and center and not detracted from us at all.