How To Deal With An Addiction - Ask the Camp Pastor

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This edition of Ask the Camp Pastor features Pastors Adam Sanders, Colby Houchin, and Art Devos.

Art Devos
Today we are going to just have a special episode. We're going to talk about one main question. We've had a couple different questions that have come in all related to this topic, but this is just a very special podcast all focused to this one question. And this question is, "how do I deal with an addiction that I've had for a long time?" Alright, so we're going to talk about addiction today, and what that means. And how we can really go deeper into the word about this and to escape that addiction. And we want this to be practical for you. We want this for you to understand that you know that you are not alone, that you are loved, and that we are here for you and many like us. And we just want to walk through this with you. So we're going to start by let's define addiction.

Colby Houchin
Yeah, that is a big and loaded question as this conversation is a big and loaded conversation. One thing I want to say before I attempt to define addiction is that there's a million different places that this conversation can go. We are pastors, not clinicians. We are not counselors per se. We're not psychologists. We would get different perspectives from those different professions. Some good, some less helpful, some more helpful. A variety is really good on this conversation. But we have to remember that this isn't going to be a perfect, full conversation about addiction. There's going to be things that we missed. There's going to be things that you may disagree with us about. We might disagree with each other. I think it'll be good. So I wanted to just start with a definition and I think there's a few different definitions that I kind of pulled from and I kind of put some together. And so a really complicated, complex one. I think I pulled this one right off of Google, off of a medical website. So it said, "addiction is a neuropsychological disorder categorized by a persistent and intense urge to use a drug or engage in a behavior that produces natural reward despite substantial harm and other negative consequences." Not very short. I could barely even read another way to look at it. "It's a chronic dysfunction of the brain that involves reward, motivation, and memory." So that's a very psychological one where it talks about patterns of human behavior that will lead to what they call a dysfunction. One that I kind of landed on that again, it's not perfect, but I think it's something that helps us kind of process through it is, "it's the condition of being given into a habitual dependency." So it is to the point where you have a dependency on something, and it's habitual in your life. And what I wanted to highlight on this, and I feel like Adam, you might have more to say on this, what I wanted to highlight when looking at addiction, and let's say that it is a habitual dependency that shows that not all negative behaviors and actions are addictions per se. There's certain criteria that has to be met in order for something to be an addiction. It doesn't just, I overeat one time and now I am a glutton. That's not quite the way it works. I don't have an addiction to food because I ate way too many Oreos one night. There's a process that takes place. Do you have anything more that you want to say on that?

Adam Sanders
No, I think that's a great intro point to it. And I think one of the things we feel really convictional about as a group is---I don't know if you guys have experienced this. But I've seen in a lot of these areas with an emphasis movement towards counseling, which I think there's been some very positive things of that. I think there has been an tendency for pastors to almost kind of step out and ignore the spiritual component of things like this. And we definitely don't want to do that. We want to make sure that we're addressing the heart and coming at this from the vantage point of what does God have to say about these things and really want to be extremely practical in how we go about offering some wisdom to you today in order to help get you on the right steps.

Art Devos
And we can sit here and we could list off a lot of things that could be considered addictions and whether it be alcohol, whether it could be pornography. I mean, we could just sit here and go down and give a straight list. Now we understand that a lot of the questions that came in most likely are dealing with pornography issues. And we're going to definitely address that as a part of this. I know for myself, I've received multiple calls over the years from parents and some kids of saying, "Hey, my kid has an addiction to pornography, will you talk to them? Will you work with them?" And some kids are saying, "Hey, this is a problem in my life, and can you help me get through this?" And so I know that's a bigger one that definitely needs to be addressed for sure. But the root of these addictions are all really kind of coming from the same avenue. And that's one thing that we also need to address today as a part of this.

Colby Houchin
Before we move any further, I want to talk about a few different common types of addiction. And you touched on them a little bit. And I think these three categories are helpful to think about for a couple of reasons. 1. It shows that there's diversity. 2. There's different ways to combat these different addictions. There's different ways to get trapped in them. There's going to be people that have tendencies to be more vulnerable or susceptible to certain types of addictions. And there's going to be different ways that we, so if you go to a counselor or a therapist for example, they're going to treat these types of addictions in different ways. So, one of the biggest categories of addiction is substance addiction. And that's what we, especially outside of the church, substance addiction is one of the ones that people think about the most. So, that would be if you are addicted to food and eating. If you are addicted to nicotine; if you have an addiction to cigarettes, for example, or tobacco. If you have an addiction to any type of drug, whether that be a pharmaceutical drug or whether that be. A really hard, dangerous drug that we find on the street that isn't medicalized. And really just any substance. So one that we talked about beforehand, that I hadn't even thought about is vaping. Vaping is a very prevalent addiction in today's youth because there's a lot of accessibility. There's a societal element of some people think it's cool. There's a lot of lies about how it's safer than cigarettes, for example. It's actually terrible for you! But the reality is that substance addiction is one of the first major categories. The second category is sexual addiction. Now, there's a lot of ways that sexual addiction can kind of play out. So the first one that Art talked about is pornography. And that's probably the most common. And so there also, and by the way, there's going to be some big adult words used in this episode. We probably should have started with that. I apologize for that. But be prepared to have conversations, and be aware of the age of the ears that are listening to this. So you can have a addiction to masturbation outside of pornography. Those can be separate. They're usually put together. You can have an addiction to sex, especially, and that's often seen in high society where the ability to have sex with a lot of people is more attainable. Lust is kind of just a spiritual reality that just pervades sexual addiction. You can have just sexual thoughts. And I even think there can be body issues that fall under the sexual addiction category. So, body issues that lead to shame and feelings. Worthlessness or distortions in who we are and what we look like. I actually think that falls under the category of a sexual addiction of some sort. And then the third, and this is actually a more prevalent type of addiction, if we're honest with ourselves. It's activity addictions. So there's people that are addicted to adrenaline, and they make really stupid decisions because of their desire to have the chemical response to exciting things. You can be addicted to social media. And again, this is where it kind of gets a little prevalent and a little uncomfortable. Video games: if you play Fortnite every single day for multiple hours a day, I have a hard message for you. You are probably addicted to Fortnite gambling. That's one that's sometimes more of a hidden addiction. Shopping. Shopping can definitely be an addiction. And compulsive behaviors, those are all activity addictions. And so again, what we see is substance, sexual, and activity addictions. And all of them, again, they start in different ways. They're going to be addressed in different ways, but they all fall under that category of a dysfunction in the way that we live; and a dependency that we slowly grow into those categories.

Art Devos
Absolutely. Thank you for that. I appreciate that. And I think that's going to be really helpful for you to know and understand, really a lot of these starting points for it too. As human beings, we're already creatures of habit. We can form habits very quickly and that also includes good habits, alright? But with things that are sinful, with things that really lead us down this road to these addictions and things like that. It always starts innocently enough. And we know this, we understand this, we recognize this. It always starts innocently enough. In there where you get just a little bit of a taste of it. A little bit of a hint of it. Why do you think that sports betting sites offer you a hundred dollars of free money immediately?

Colby Houchin
Yeah, you put in five and they give you a hundred dollars credit.

Art Devos
Right. Across the board, you will see that, "oh, you are new to our site, we're going to give you $250 to bet." And you start to, "oh, I won once." And what do you do with that? You're like, "man, I could win more."

Colby Houchin
It feels good to win in those situations.

Art Devos
It does. And the thing is, you don't have any bettors that lose 100% of the time. Likewise, you don't have any bettors that win 100% of the time. And the law of averages starts to play out and more people lose than win in these bets. And Vegas knows that. But it all starts with just that little bit of a, "I got a taste for it, I got a taste for it." You go into social media stuff---let's stay in the activities department here right now of the categories, social media. You start to see that younger and younger kids are opening up social media accounts. Getting Snapchat, and it used to be Facebook, and obviously Facebook is now for the old people like me. But it started out with that, and even on Facebook, it started out with just mindless scrolling. And you want to make sure that everything you put on there is seen for everybody else, that there's a certain amount of likes that start to come with it. And you start to feed just that human response of like, "oh, I just got 130 likes in two hours because I posted this." And it starts to become more and more.

Colby Houchin
But something to add onto that, specific to social media, is that they design their algorithms in the way that your phone will get a notification. I mean, it depends on your settings, but oftentimes they set it up to where they will hold notifications back, and then flood them towards you as a draw tactic. So it's not just that you so happen to be engaged with things like Facebook, but it's designed to pull you in and to engage you. And to hook you and to grab you and to encourage a certain response that is positive to the human psyche; and to lead you into desiring that more and more. So it's not just that we like it, but it's designed for us to like it and to get hooked on.

Art Devos
No, absolutely. And as we look more in, what's the root of all of this? Where does this kind of start? Well, I mean the most simplistic answer that I could probably give, and I don't mean to dumb this down but, where is our focus? Where does it start? If your focus is on Christ, you tend to stay focused more on Christ and not of these types of things.

Colby Houchin
There's not a lot of gambling that happens in church when you're actually focused on the Lord.

Art Devos
Right? Exactly. No, that's exactly right. And we are actually, we're called to live in a certain way. And so I want to go to 1 Peter, that's where I'm going to start us out here in scripture. But 1 Peter chapter one, and I am going to start with verse 13. "Therefore, gid up the loins of your mind to be sober and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ as obedient children. Not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance, but as He who called you is holy. You also be holy in all your conduct because it is written be holy for I am holy." Alright. So God has set His standard for us in how we are to live. And it is that we are supposed to continue to be focused on Christ, because before we came to know Jesus Christ, before we were established in our faith in him, lived a certain way. And what was that way? It was, "if it feels good, then I'm going to pursue those things regardless of what that is." Look at toddlers. What do they do? Toddlers are all about themselves. They're all about what is going to make them feel good in that moment. They don't think beyond anything other than that moment. So if they see a toy that another kid has, they want that toy. They immediately go for that toy, right? That's a toddler. They're just acting off of their own satisfaction in that moment. Even as adults, before we come to know Christ, that's what we tend to do. We tend to satisfy ourselves and we buy into what the world tells us we need in our lives. And so we pursue that. Well, God is saying, "Hey, you know me now, don't keep living in those lusts when you were ignorant." You know as, "no, you pursue me." You live and you focus on me in these things. And so that's where we start to see, because how can addiction happen in Christian people? Right? Well, our eyes start to come off of Christ.