In the grand scheme of things, my life has been pretty great. I am blessed in ways I couldn’t have even imagined. But even for me, this saying--which is meant to be encouraging--stings like salt in an open wound. Because, there have been quite a few periods of my life which I was not strong enough to handle.
Painting: “Forgiven” by Thomas Blackshear
The time when I was nineteen years old and my hormones slid out of whack, throwing me into a deep depression. I was sleeping a minimum of 18 hours a day and felt zero emotions about anything.
The time my father died of cancer. I had no idea how to properly handle my emotions and I spiraled into chaos.
The time I married an abusive man. I had believed he had great self-control, was emotionally stable, and was slow to anger. It wasn’t long after our wedding when I found out that he was the exact opposite. Being with him was a threat to my life and the lives of everyone else I cared about. I was heartbroken, confused, trapped, and scared; and I had no idea what to do. And after I was free of him, the residual damage on my psyche left me with a miscalibrated fear reaction where even the smallest of terrible possibilities gave me illogical panic attacks.
The time when my baby died in my womb and I had to have surgery to survive the miscarriage. I have never felt more hopeless or helpless than when I had to come to terms with the idea that I could do nothing to keep my own child safe.
“God won’t give you more than you can handle.” Well…I wasn’t even close to being able to handle any of these situations. So, how did I get through them?
Because, even though it was more than I could handle, it wasn’t more than God could handle.
Life can be terrible, it can crush us and destroy us. Sometimes we suffer as the result of our own choices, and sometimes we are victims of circumstance. Either way, God wants us to rely on Him through it all.
Where did the saying, “God won’t give you more than you can handle”, come from?
The idea comes from 1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV):
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
As you can see, this verse isn’t claiming that life won’t be harder than we can handle. It is specifically talking about overcoming the temptations which the world throws at us. But even for those temptations, we aren’t supposed to rely on ourselves to overcome them: it is God who “provides the way to escape”.
What does the Bible say to do when life starts to crush us?
It says to turn to God. He is our Savior in everything and anything. Ask Him for help, and trust that He will provide. Here are a few examples of the many verses which illustrate this:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV) But he (God) said to me (Paul), “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
1 Peter 5:6-7 (ESV) Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Philippians 4:11-13; 19 (ESV) Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation, I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me...And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Psalm 34:4 (ESV) I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.
John 15:5 (ESV) I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
Proverbs 18:10 (NIV) The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.
Psalm 50:15 (ESV) And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.”
Psalm 46:1-3 (NIV) God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
We don’t get our strength from ourselves, God is our strength in trouble, our shelter in storms, and our deliverer through the trials of life.
Painting: “The Hand of God” Havenlight Yongsung Kim
The story of Peter walking on the water is a wonderful illustration of this truth. As long as Peter focused on Jesus and His ability to keep him above the water, he experienced the impossible. But as soon as he changed his focus to the strong wind blowing around him and the reality of his own lack of ability to walk on water, he began to sink. Thankfully, he had the wisdom to call out to Jesus for help, and sure enough, Jesus did as He always does: He reached out and saved him. (Matthew 14:22-33)
The tales of the Old Testament are meant to teach us this truth as well. All the grand heroic stories we learned about in Sunday school have one thing in common. The people involved trusted God to get them through the hard stuff. They didn’t rely on themselves.
For example:
David didn’t kill Goliath by his own merit, God killed Goliath--David’s faith in God to keep his promises to him and the nation of Israel gave David the courage he needed to step forward and put his life in God’s hands. (1 Samuel 17)
(Also see: “How did David know he could beat Goliath in a fight to the death?)
In contrast, when David took a census of Israel to determine his own strength, God punished him for not trusting God to handle the security of the nation. (2 Samuel 24)
And when Moses and the Israelites trusted God to free them from the Egyptians, God performed miracle after miracle to keep them safe: the plagues on Egypt, parted the Red Sea, made water pour from a rock, and so on.
But when it was finally time to enter the Promised Land, the Israelites were afraid. They lost faith in God’s abilities, gauged the possibility of their success on their own skill levels, and decided there was no way they could win in a fight against the gigantic Amorites. Because of this they were forced to wander around in the wilderness for forty more years.
This theme is repeated over and over in the Old Testament: trust God and succeed; do things on your own and fail. Hebrews chapter 11 (the Faith chapter) provides a great list of these examples as well.
God wants to draw people to Him, so He uses us to show the world His strength.
Christians have also been given specific tools which are meant to help us through life.
He gave us the Church--our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Romans 12:4-16 (NIV) For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your a faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
(Also see Hebrews 10:24-25; Ephesians 4:32: Galatians 6:9-10; Acts 20:28)
Christians are meant to be each other's support systems: to encourage one another in times of trouble and to help each other grow in our knowledge of Biblical truth and our walks with God.
He gave us the Bible.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV) All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
If we study God’s word properly and thoroughly then when life shakes us to our core we can have a foundation of truth which stands solid through it all.
He gave us the Holy Spirit.
John 14:16-17 (NIV) I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.
Romans 8:26-27 (NIV) In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
We are never alone. God’s presence is constantly working within us and through us.
I am beyond grateful for everything God provided as I faced the major trials of my life.
When my family grieved the loss of my father, the church ministries flooded our house with food. Christians who owned local businesses helped offset the costs of the funeral with discounts and donations whenever possible. And my foundational knowledge of the Biblical truth of salvation, gave me hope, knowing I will see my father again in the life to come.
When my marriage became life-threatening, women messaged me and showed up at my house to tell me their similar experiences. My sisters and brothers in Christ went out of their way to make sure I had the strength and support necessary to break free from the nightmare I was living in. They even assisted in practical matters like advising me on things like restraining orders and therapy programs.
And when I lost my baby, the outpouring of love--through thoughtful gifts and through people simply sitting with me, sharing the grief--was exactly what I needed.
Painting: “Trust in God”
But even beyond the utilization of the tools He provided, God, Himself, was pouring out His mercy, using His power to weave circumstance and free will into an intricate design of love inspired miracles, the likes of which I am constantly in awe of.
God carried me through every situation. From the big moments: like when I was on my knees weeping in my garage, silently begging God to somehow find a way to get my now ex-husband out of my house without anyone getting killed. To the “smaller” quieter miracles which kept me breathing day-to-day as I lay drowning in depression. God has answered all of my needs, even the ones I never even knew to worry about.
Romans 8:26-27 (NIV) In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
In conclusion, I’ll say it again:
It has always been, and it always will be, God who was strong enough to handle the trials of my life. Our sin cursed world will give us more than we can handle, but never more than what God can handle.
This series of blog posts titled, “Holding on to Reason”, is named after Amanda’s favorite C.S. Lewis quote: “Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.”