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This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Kiley Callaway, Tyson Lambertson, John Mulholland and Jon Simpson.
Jon Simpson
So, last time we discussed parenting and specifically discipling your kids. We want to kind of continue in that with that topic. And so we're gonna tackle a passage found in the book of Judges, again in the Old Testament. Pastor John's gonna read for us again from chapter two of the book of Judges.
John Mulholland
Yeah, "After Joshua sent the people away, each of the tribes left to take possession of the land allotted to them, and Israelites served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua. And the leaders who outlived him, those who had seen all the great things the Lord had done for Israel. Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died at the age of 110. They buried him in the land he had been allocated at Timnath Heres in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gaash. After that generation died, another generation grew up who did not acknowledge the Lord or remember the mighty things he had done for them. The Israelites did evil in the Lord's sight and served the images of Baal." And then it continues down a really lousy path throughout the rest of the Book of Judges.
Jon Simpson
Just one generation.
Kylie Calloway
That did not acknowledge the Lord.
John Mulholland
Why didn't they acknowledge the Lord?
Tyson Lambertson
Well, first I think we have to give Joshua some credit, because his legacy was substantial and very, very important. Cause he kept Israel on task. He was a father of the nation. He really did a wonderful job. And his kids followed. Then they split up and went and possessed land. And I think a lot of times it's easy to lose focus and we're seeing in our own generation, people walking away from the things of the Lord and being carried into a culture that is full of demonic influence. So it makes sense that it could be one generation away.
Kylie Calloway
We've got something up on our refrigerator and how we acknowledge the Lord. I mean, acknowledging the Lord may be different in each home. But I'll share them with you, cause I don't memorize them. But we call them connecting habits and disconnecting habits. So I think people use them, and I think this is what drives away kids. So the disconnecting habits would be: criticism, blaming, complaining, nagging threatening, punishing, bribing. Basically, all of those are to control. So anytime those go on in our home, we kind of go to the refrigerator and say, "you know, that's not the way we wanna be, because that's not who God is." But we want to be these habits, because these connect us to one another, which is: supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting and negotiating differences. And for us, that's birthed out of love of who God is. So when we have those moments together as a family, we feel like in those times we're acknowledging who God would want us to be. So I have to keep going back to that, being, right? Is that we try to teach our kids that it goes deeper than just church attendance and serving in a church. Yes. Prayer is good, studying the Bible is good. But at the essence is: this is who He wants you to be. And so that's our way of acknowledging the Lord. Of course, we acknowledge Him every Sunday in our worship and in our prayer, but further than that. Of our day-to-day life with one another, getting to the core of who we are is acknowledging the Lord for us. And hopefully for our home, that will teach our kids to continue to acknowledge the Lord in their family lifestyle.
John Mulholland
I really like that difference that you explained. What I heard you say was, "there's a difference between being and doing." And we went through Judges several years ago. You know, if we were to read through Judges and we were to read into the rest of the Old Testament, we would see a people who were doing all the right things. You know, all of the things that are taking place here in the book of Judges, in the midst of that, there are people who are still celebrating the Passover. They're still doing all of the right behaviors. But what they've missed is that being and not acknowledging the Lord, not remembering the mighty things that He had done for Israel. So, back to what we talked about last time, just kind of like, that verse 10 is a key text because it tells us; like, when the kids ask their parents, "what is the reason we do these things?"
John Mulholland
They were supposed to say one thing. And my guess is, they made it about the doing, "Well, we go to Temple because we always go to Temple at this time. It's always the Sabbath. It's always the Passover." And they've forgotten the reasons why. And they've forgotten that they were set apart to be a certain kind of people. So I think our challenge is, "what does it look like for us to be a certain kind of people, and then model those behaviors to our kids? And how can we encourage the people and our bodies to do that?
Kylie Calloway
Right. And that's how we're set apart from the world, so to speak. Those disconnecting habits are ways of external control. I can control you with my complaints, but we teach our kids an internal locus of control, that there's something deeper inside of them that they can choose to be other than externally controlling. Cause if I control you, I mean, that's really a form of witchcraft. So, you know, we're not trying to control in those connecting behaviors, which are birthed out of love. It's hard to do with young kids, but the more---I just had to do it yesterday, but the more consistently we do it, we're finding that that's who our kids truly, at the end of the day, want to be. They know who they want to be. It's just our job to kind of guide them towards that direction. And they can choose not to be that too.
Jon Simpson
Yeah. It also seems like, it's interesting that what happened here was that the people were led into the land and they occupied it, right? They got their inheritance. And once they did, they got busy living and taking care of their family and doing the thing that you do. And the mission or the sense of, you know, conquest or accomplishment or purpose, I think it's easy to lose that. And I think of, in my lifetime now, I've been alive long enough to see and hear about, you know, those movements of God, those hay days of either ministry or God moving. And I know I've heard those stories here in this valley, of God. And you know, sometimes there might be some lament about what's happening, or there's nothing. And I'm like, "well, you know, that sense of mission has to continue," and I think every generation has to grab hold of it and move with it and have a sense of, "we've gotta build." Like, why do we have, you know, churches? Why do we do what we do? Certainly in part, it's to raise our own families, but it has to also be to reach the people around me and to, you know, make a difference in the region. And I think that that sense of mission, as I look back, part of the reason for maybe those where something springs up and there's something really incredible going on, people grab a hold of that, you know?
Kylie Calloway
Yeah. As soon as you said, "they got busy living," I heard in me, "but they didn't get busy dying." And I think that's what you have to do, is die to yourself. Right? We do get busy living, but we're not in the business of dying. And we have to die to our flesh and die to ourself to truly show our kids how to truly live the gospel life.
Tyson Lambertson
I think the text lends to the dichotomy of Joshua leaving a legacy. And/Or living your own life. And I wanna live a Joshua legacy for my kids, so it doesn't fail in the next generation, or generations following that. I wanna live that long obedience in the same direction, so that our kids have a good foundation.
John Mulholland
Yeah. So what does that modeling look like? I think last time, Kylie, you said, "we are doing things that our kids are picking up on." So how can we make sure that they're picking up on the right things? One of the pastors I've listened to frequently says, "we are making disciples. We are discipling our children." The question is, what are we discipling and made to?
Tyson Lambertson
I think it's every day. I think, how I respond to certain circumstances, situations. How I talk, how I model, how I love their mom. How I talk about the scripture, how I apply it to my own life. When somebody does something to me, how do I respond? I mean, it's all the time just modeling the weight all the time. Trying to live a godly life in front of them all the time.
John Mulholland
That's an incredible weight that people have on them. And we, I think as pastors, and as the church, have to help people understand that the way around that incredible weight is through, like, Christ bears that weight for us.
Tyson Lambertson
Grace.
John Mulholland
Because I think people can hear this. You gotta be on all the time. Man, for some people that's grounds to not even try. So how can we communicate that their help is in the Lord, not in their own efforts. Other than saying that, that sounds great.